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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27234610">You've Got to Be Kitten Me</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/waterofthemoon/pseuds/waterofthemoon'>waterofthemoon</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Name That Author/Guess The Author Challenge Fills [14]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Good Omens (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Aziraphale Has a Cat (Good Omens), Aziraphale's Bookshop (Good Omens), Aziraphale's Sofa (Good Omens), Cats, Crowley is a Mess (Good Omens), Fluff, M/M, Mention of Cat Reproduction, One Shot</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 22:02:30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>500</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27234610</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/waterofthemoon/pseuds/waterofthemoon</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>A family can be an angel, his two cats, and his snake boyfriend. Or, Aziraphale adopts some new friends.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Name That Author/Guess The Author Challenge Fills [14]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1805698</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>49</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>GO-events NTA #9 - Milkbottle After Dark</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>You've Got to Be Kitten Me</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Written for Name That Author round 9 (after dark) in the GO Events Discord! The prompt was milkbottle, after poor deceased Witchfinder Major Milkbottle. I took it in a... different direction. :P Thanks to @silvercolour for the summary!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"You have a cat," Crowley says.</p>
<p>He stares at the cat. Aziraphale sips his tea. Another cat, this one sleek and black, strolls in from the back room.</p>
<p>"I have <i>two</i> cats," Aziraphale corrects.</p>
<p>The cats' names, Crowley shortly learns, are Milk and Bottle. Milk is a cream and brown tabby with fluffy fur and an air of feline importance; Bottle is friendlier and has a slightly squashed face, like she got stuck in, well—</p>
<p>"The names are a bit on the nose, I know," Aziraphale says. As if that's the confusing part, and not the part where there are two cats in his bookshop who apparently own the place now. "But they're a set, you see, so all my other thoughts were of famous historical couples, and I couldn't bear to saddle them with the names of anyone we've known. They're their own creatures."</p>
<p>He beams at Crowley, like this is all perfectly sensible. Crowley nods slowly and stares at Bottle, who's winding her way between Aziraphale's legs and leaving fine dark hairs on his pressed trousers.</p>
<p>"Aziraphale." Crowley considers his approach but gets stuck on the mental images of claw marks on the bookshelves, napping spots being made of Aziraphale's priceless first editions, and hairballs deposited on the old Chesterfield sofa.</p>
<p>That last one affects Crowley more than he'd like to admit; he composes himself before taking what he hopes is a neutral tack. "Where exactly did they come from?"</p>
<p>"From another cat, I assume," Aziraphale answers distractedly, bending down to pet Milk, "but I found them outside the shop, oh, evening before last. The poor things were so in need of care."</p>
<p>Crowley knows that, despite Aziraphale's disinterest in most of the physical goings-on of living things, he could never have seen two creatures who needed him and not stopped to help. Particularly not two he found charming and delightful, and <i>particularly</i> not right on his own doorstep.</p>
<p>Milk chirrups at Crowley. Crowley stares him down, trying to impart an air of snakey menace, but the cat is unmoved. After a minute or two, Milk disdainfully rubs his cheek on Crowley's ankle, while Bottle jumps on the cabinet next to the sofa and leans into Crowley's hand, demanding to be petted.</p>
<p>Tentatively, Crowley reaches out his fingers and strokes the top of Bottle's head. He's never really sure how to interact with small furry things; between the demon thing and the snake thing, most of them run from him before he has the chance. The bookshop's atmosphere, he decides; it must have some kind of calming influence on them.</p>
<p>Bottle allows herself to be petted a moment longer, then turns around and starts chewing the cord of Aziraphale's Bakelite phone.</p>
<p>"Now, now, none of that." Aziraphale reaches over into Crowley's space and bats her away. "There we are. Well. I think we're all going to get along just fine."</p>
<p>Crowley's about to acquiesce, but another thought crosses his mind. "There aren't going to be kittens, are there?"</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><div class="children module" id="children">
  <b class="heading">Works inspired by this one:</b>
  <ul>
    <li>
        <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28436181">[Podfic] You've Got to Be Kitten Me</a> by <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rindle/pseuds/Rindle">Rindle</a>
    </li>
  </ul>
</div></div></div>
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